Saturday, April 14, 2007

Old Job, New Game

For a number of different reasons, I gave my notice at the drug store on Thursday. My bosses appeared saddened, which I assumed would be the case, but it had to be done. Professionally, my life is quite stagnant. I tried to leave the druggie twice before, actually. The first was when I graduated high school and was prepping for my Moravian College life. However, the bosses at the time offered a substantial pay increase (IIRC). Since I was commuting and the cash would definitely come in handy, I stayed on. Upon graduating from college, I gave my notice a second time, assuming I was going to find something in my English field. Again, the bosses rose to the challenge and offered me full time with benefits. Since the job wasn't difficult and already familiar (I had been there 5 years at that point), I stayed once again. That was 10 years ago. Now, with 15 drug years under my belt, I desperately need a change.

A few years ago I was going to give my notice again but then my sister joined the crew and I thought that might give things a breath of fresh air (not to mention a pharmacist switch right before that). Things were good for awhile but around July of last years I sank into a depression that I still haven't quite fully shaken off yet. Now, anyone who knows me knows I'm a happy fellow, given to joke and laugh ad nauseum. But whatever it was that hit me suddenly last year really knocked me for a loop. Panic attacks, stress, and then depression were on my shoulders. And the more I tried to analyze things, the worse they got.

I managed to persevere without seeing a physician (stupid, I know) and finally crawled out from under the depressive blanket around the holidays. But things were different. I just wasn't happy at my job where formally I loved it. I didn't need a ton of bricks to hit me to know it was time to change. I had always espoused the motto that if someone wasn't happy at a job (or wherever) then they should just change it. Life's too short to be miserable. Well, giving my notice this time was the most difficult I've done in recent memory. I've been treated well at the druggie but you just know when change is needed. I'll miss the place and the folks inside and I hope they don't have too much trouble filling my spot. To soften the blow, I'm giving them until the end of August before I go. Well, I also gave them longer since my sister also recently left to take care of her two young boys and we're still down a man from that.

Do I know what I'm going to do come September? Not really but I can honestly say that it feels a weight is slowly lifting from my mind. There's a lot of brain flotsam left over from my mental struggle of the last 8 or so months but I have confidence that everything will be OK.

As for the "new game," the group is finally trying out some Castles & Crusades tomorrow. I've had the core books and a few supplements for some time. We don't have our whole crew tomorrow (although we do have a prospective new member) so it seemed like a good time to try something new.


Blogger Rabid Gerbil said...

Damn. I feel like I wrote part of that post Bret. I too am going through some things, but most of mine are related to work. I am thinking of quitting my job after working with the company 6 years. Although things are really bad there, Im finding it hard to leave because of the people. Its funny you mention your thoughts about jobs (not fun, leave..etc), because one of my former bosses used to say the same thing.

Im starting to think that saying might hit the nail on the head. After reading your post, Im starting to come to grips with the decision I think I have to make.

Eventhough it wasnt your intention, I have to say thanks. I needed to read something like that.

Also, remember I am always here if you need to chat about anything or if you need help with Owlbear.

12:23 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

May I suggest joining the bum game. A real bum, not the kind where you are a doctor on the side. I can guide you on the ways as it seems to be my calling and I know a thing or two.

6:16 AM  
Blogger Stephen said...

That's good news, Bret. I'm a firm believer that if you're seriously unhappy with your situation, you should change your situation.

6:06 PM  
Blogger Bret said...

Thanks for the thoughts, gang. And as for the comment I had to delete, I won't tolerate that kind of language on my blog. Have a nice day.

10:57 PM  
Blogger Brad said...

I can definitely relate. Work can be mentally and emotionally draining. I'm sure I'd have fewer headaches and other health problems.

At least there are always plenty of options as far as work and life itself.

I'm not sure about the, uh, "bum game". I've always thought ninja or mime would be good vocations.

12:34 AM  
Blogger Bret said...

For sure, Brad. And if you're ever having any of those issues you want another sounding board on, please feel free to call.

9:20 PM  

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